Previously on Blog by Bake…
I compared life to a video game and explained how our mindset is a lot like our belly button (read here before you go any further). And then I left you with a cliffhanger and the following question:
Can we change our locus of control?
How we answer that question probably says more about our locus of control than anything else to follow in this post. Remember our LOC is all about how much influence we think we have on what happens next in our lives.
If we have an internal locus of control, we believe we are in charge, thus, we also probably believe we can impact our LOC. On the flip side, if we think life is out of our hands, then we probably don’t have any reason to believe that we can change our LOC.
Expects suggest that locus of control is formed at a very young age and may be influenced by how authoritative or nurturing our parents were. That means that some factors are inborn and there may not be much we can change.
However, as VeryWell.com points out, there are certain things we can do make our LOC look more like an innie.
Be Aware of Your Voice
What does our internal monologue sound like? Do we constantly use phrases like, “I can’t” or “I don’t have any say”? Limit the negative self talk.
Be Aware of Your Choice
We may not be able to choose our boss’ attitude, but we can chose how it impacts our day. When we change from “I don’t have a say” to “I may not be able to x, but I can y” we start to realize that we always have a choice. This cracks the door open and allows us to see that do have some influence on what is going on around us. Knowing that we have at least some say helps us feel more in control.
Be Aware of Your Joyce
For the sake of keeping the rhyming headlines going, let’s pretend our best friend is named Joyce. And let’s say Joyce has an internal locus of control. We can use that to our advantage. When we feel like we have no control, we feel trapped. Our inner voice becomes negative and we are blind to our choices. Enter Joyce! We can have our friends help us brainstorm ideas and point out ways that we can, in fact, have a say in what is happening around us. The people who know us best can be great resources for helping us cultivate our innie.
As I said yesterday, we may feel like we are on a perpetual teeter totter, shifting from internal to external locus of control. During those down times, it is important to remember that even when things feel set, we do have some control. We just have to pay attention to our voice, our choice and our Joyce (or Royce or whatever your friend’s name is).