If you Google “How to Write a Book” you will find about 371,000,000 results. There are tons of great articles about what we need to do if we want to hash out our story and finish writing a book (I even wrote one, which you can find here). There is an endless stream of encouraging quotes and how to lists that will help us navigate the wild world of writing.
There is plenty about what we should do, but not as much about what we shouldn’t do. So, I have come up with a list of a few things not to do when writing a book.
7 Things We Definitely Should Not Do When Writing A Book
Write it Backwards
I am not talking about writing a story where the plot is told out of chronological order, like Pulp Fiction. That move won an Oscar and made over $100 million so, by all means do that. I’m talking about actually writing it backwards, as in starting with the last word (on the first page) and working your way to the first word (on the last page). That will just be confusing and hard to read.
Write it in Minion
That language is basically gibberish. Plus, by Illumination Entertainment owns the rights to all Minion-talk and probably won’t be to happy about it.
Write it in the sky
Skywriters are super expensive and not very permanent.
Write it on an endangered animal
People won’t like that and it will be hard to duplicate, because…you know…they are endangered.
Write it on an Etch-a-Sketch
The font will be too tiny and an earthquake could erase all your hard work.
Rewrite Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone
That is already a thing.
Use magic ink
Not even if your book is about magic (if it is, it better not be called Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, see above).
Okay, so this post was pretty dumb, but the point is…just write a book. Don’t worry too much about what not to do. When you start writing, your story probably won’t be very good, but as long as you don’t write it in the sky or on a Yellow-billed cuckoo, you can keep working on it until it is better.